"Take 7 guys and a Force 7 gale! Mix together with plenty of water and choppy sea, and allow to paddle for 2 days!”

The Isle of Wight Trip 1998 was first discovered by me some three weeks before I was due to be on it! There was some training to do, plenty of planning what food and equipment to take and of course, the final decision of whether it would take place or not.

We arrived in a carpark at Lee-on-Solent to find Dave Waine, Colin Grimshaw and a number of other equally experienced paddlers stuffing all manner of gear into their sea kayaks. We all packed as much food and kit for 2 days as would fit into our boats and then were ready to ‘rock’n’roll’.

I was paddling Dave Waine’s K2 with Kev - he conned me into sitting in the front so I soon got familiar with the waves! Marky-Mark Guerin was in a K1. For us two, this was to be our first real sea kayaking adventure... And we certainly got more than we’d bargained for!

The first part of our journey took us through the Needles where we stopped for lunch. It was a pleasant paddle with sun lighting the way for us and bouncing brightly off the white coastal rock as we neared our lunch destination. We paddled between the rocks and as we did, it was made real to us just how vulnerable and insignificant we were in our little boats looking up at the great pillars of stone. We stopped off at a secluded beach, which is allegedly only frequented by paddlers. The sea was really blue and reflected the sun, so I was glad I’d bought some sunglasses - even though they did look pretty cheesy!

Appetites at bay, limbs refreshed and caves christened (it’s all so easy for men!) we wriggled ourselves back into comfy positions in our boats and set off again. Soon, we passed Freshwater (the normal stop-off point for three-day trips around the island) and pressed on to St Catherine’s Point. As we did so, the water was starting to get a little choppy and the setting sun was on our backs. In fading light, and increasingly rough water, myself and Kev, with Kevin Kelly close by, got cut off from the rest of the group. As we drew parallel with the lighthouse, the waves were climbing so high that I couldn’t even see Kevin Kelly who was (I worried) still with us, just on the other side of the water as it crashed down on Kev and myself, completely drenching us!

Eventually with Kevin Kelly back in sight (relief surging through my mind!), we gained control of the waves which were much less threatening beyond the lighthouse, and aimed straight for the shore. Luckily, Kev, the “Man with the Mystic Eyesight”, could see heads bobbing on the water, which we assumed were the rest of the group. As we approached them, we soon discovered they were!! (PHEW!!)

We started to relax as we neared our fellow paddlers and -- promptly a nasty wave caught us by surprise! Poor Mark, we later discovered, had shared the same misfortune! He clunked his head on his boat, lost his new plimsolls, and worse still, his favourite Pantera woolly hat! It was going to take more than a ‘cup o’ Splosh’ to raise his spirits!!

With much haste and tiredness-induced stress, we hoicked our boats onto the shore, found a place to camp and while 7 men all relieved themselves, I did what I had to do and found a REAL toilet!!

Day 2 began rather more sluggishly than the previous one. Most of us were a little tired as we’d wilderness camped right on St Catherine’s Point and I for one was kept awake by the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks and the powerful beam of the lighthouse peering out over the bay.

We fulfilled the breakfast ritual - so vital when you need all your energy - and then cleared away all our rubbish (‘cause we’re all Top Citizens!!) before commencing the rollercoaster ride.

It was early morning and not as clear or sunny as the previous afternoon’s efforts. We pulled into Bembridge as the weather was working against us and at that point, I agreed to swap boats so Marky-Mark was now in the K2 with Uncle Kev, and I was on my own! Seal must be a very persuasive guy as I heard myself saying yes, long before thinking the deal through!!

We paddled out of the bay and as we did, the weather began to change. We stopped off for lunch during a lifeboat exhibition and the rain was pelting down! Seal and Marky-Mark managed to locate some hotfood from a burger stand, much to my envy, as I only had a couple of musty peanut butter sandwiches left!! Soon enough it was time to set off on the next stretch of what was to become more a test of mental strength than one of health and fitness.

The rain continued to pour and the currents were strong. Colin and Mark Gregory had the prize task of entertaining me with their life stories to keep me from freezing up as the swell got bigger and the winds higher. As we neared Portsmouth, the swell was enormous and I was absolutely terrified! We were singing ‘There’s a hole in my bucket’ at full pelt, firstly to be heard over the rain, wind and sea and secondly to keep my mind off the fear, as wave after wave I was encouraged by Colin and Mark to relax (they had to be JOKING!!)

We rafted up for a while, when wind and waves gave us their worst, and we all stayed in our boats. Then the eeriest thing happened... The wind suddenly dropped and the rain drove down really heavily onto the sea which settled into tiny wavelets. Through the blue water vapour we were looking through, they seemed like sand dunes in the Sahara desert. It felt as though Nature herself had calmed down for a moment to give us a chance to catch our breath before facing more of her wrath.

We continued paddling while the swell seemed to have flattened but as we approached our next stop, the weather got even worse. (OH NO!! ) We paddled for what seemed like ages against some of the strongest winds I’ve ever experienced, and not even the current was on our side as we approached the shore. The first guys off the water helped the rest of us ‘dock’ one by one. It was the hardest challenge I’ve ever faced to try to hold my boat on course while the wind was blowing against me.

Eventually I insisted I was going to the shore, so I paddled with every single ounce of determination and as I hit the land, completely drained, I drooped in the cockpit and then was ordered to get “OUT! Out the boat!!” I hadn’t realised that the boat was being dragged back out to sea and we could easily have lost it. I stretched my hand out hoping to be hauled up onto the shore (I was completely exhausted), but instead, Mark shook my hand and said ‘You’re the Man’!

Kendal Mintcake, pork pie and other soggy delights including suspicious tasting dried fruit were offered as replenishment. This food had been hiding in the bottom of various BDHs and so (as I’m sure you will understand) I was less than keen!!

The final part of the journey had arrived and after posing for a group photo and looking after the essential ‘Friendly Bush’, friends helped me struggle to do my wetsuit back up (thanks for the loan, Graham!!) and pull down Petra’s drycag (thanks, Petra - a real essential on this trip!!) and it was back to the boats once again!

The last part of the trip was tiring and the waves tried their best but didn’t manage to psyche us out!! We finished our epic voyage sometime between 4 and 5pm and gave ourselves that much deserved pat on the back for conquering the Isle of Wight in 2 days.

Tea and cake at Bill & Pud’s house (thank you!!) was heavenly and as I entered the kitchen I was given the title of ‘Honorary Bloke’. Gee, thanks lads!! It was a top adventure!!

by Sonia McLean, September 1998