Off to France we headed -
see what rivers we could find,
but first we had to get there
which proved to be a bind.

Two of us, we “flew” there,
the rest, they took the boat.
Then, trying to get petrol -
that was another joke.

As for navigation,
well, what can I say -
you go around a roundabout,
you go around all day.

However, if you leave it
you often get a chance
to do a massive U-turn,
and pick another path.

Eventually, we made it -
the Alps, they were in sight.
The campsite was a good one
with a surf wave to the right.

We paddled lots of rivers,
Durance was the first:
a gentle 3 in places,
some 3+ for a burst.

The next one on the hit list,
I believe, was the Guisane,
but maybe I’m mistaken -
it’s a human pinball game.

People think it’s dangerous
to paddle in th Alps
with all their big white waters
in boats that chuck you out.

But believe me, there’s no danger
until someone suggests
a game of volleyball by the river -
that’s it, you ask for death!

I believe that I was lucky
as I live to tell the tale:
Not only do I have no teeth,
we lost the game as well!

Now, where were we headed?
I think, it was the Onde -
a run full of adrenaline,
oh what a ride, my God.

A 3+ that’s continuous,
we made it to the end!
(Except for John's new RPM
getting trashed on its own descent.)

The Lower Guil, a gentle ride,
a family day out,
with lots of little playspots
for us to play about.

The Upper Claree was quite scary
for this is where I swam,
as I went over all I thought
was “Oh my God, oh damn!”

It wasn’t recommended
in the book, I bought from Him -
him being the “O’Great” one
who has paddled everything.

I still think, Slime has conned me
for the book that I did buy:
When I paid him with my French Francs,
he had a strange twinkle in his eye.

The holiday was a good one.
I recommend Phil’s tent -
Unfortunately, we only used four pegs
and skyward bound it went.

I think we learnt the lesson:
the weather, it can change -
so next time we will not use pegs,
we'll have a bloody chain.

Big Kev entered a rodeo,
where paddles weren’t allowed.
He did his best, ran out of breath,
and swam past all the crowd.

Oh, I’ve missed the big one
that Kev and Sean did do -
a grade 5 in the Durance Gorge,
need I say no more to you...

But I’m sure that in the future
when we all go for a beer,
the rivers will all be bigger
than the ones I’ve mentioned here!

by Clare Russel, June 1998